Practical Jokers & Lock Pickers

An Essay By Bridget // 3/23/2009

I live in a family of practical jokers. I have to admit, I started my training a little late, but I am a fast learner. When I was nine, I created a spider out of black pipe cleaners and pompoms, and I tied it on a rung that was above the lower bunk in the boys’ room while they were sleeping. I woke up the next morning at an unearthly hour – maybe 8:00 – to a loud series of screams. Andrew wasn’t totally thrilled with that. My mom wasn’t so thrilled either, but I can’t remember my punishment. How she knew it was me, I’ll never guess.

When I was ten, I taped the little flap on the toilet paper roll down with double sided tape, and listened with glee outside the bathroom as my other younger brother spun and spun, until finally he became entirely exasperated and simply got a new roll out.

When I was eleven, or maybe twelve, I was persuaded by a nameless person (I really wish I could take credit for this one!) to put my lobster in my mom’s shoe. You know those squishy little “hands” that come in little plastic containers and you slap them against the wall and they stick? Yeah, well, my “lobster” was of the same material as those squishy things and I can only imagine what it felt like when my mom (the only person in my family without a – what shall I call it – a “highly developed sense of humor”) stepped in the shoe, only to find it, um, occupied!

Thirteen and fourteen were not my best years for practical jokes. I was more interested in boys at that time. However, I developed a talent for back-handed compliments, so much so, that I may even be the best in the family by now. My mom is frequently the target of these, with most of the comments centering around her age. Example: “Mom, really, you look great for a woman of your age.” (She actually does, and I can’t imagine why she gets insulted.) My mother usually retaliates by giving me her (quite withering) version of “the Look” and shooing me out of the kitchen with her dish towel. I have retained this particular talent to this day. As far as practical jokes go, now that I’m fifteen, I often walk up to my mom and casually say, “By the way, I’m engaged.” and watch her turn around and stare in horror. Juvenile, perhaps, but so much fun.

When my dad was really young, he would try to fix radios while his mom lived in fear that he would be electrocuted. To confirm her fears, he would stick his finger in the midst of the wires and cords, and jump up and down screaming, while his mom screamed as well, probably believing that he was dying. When my dad was in junior high, he and his friend squirted the 5th graders with water guns, one by one as they came out the door, until they came to the last one, which they watered down as well. Turns out the last one was the teacher. They got sent to the principal’s office where presumably they said something equivalent to, “You naughty boys!” and told them they had to apologize to everyone, or some equally uninteresting punishment.

Around the same time, my dad took up trombone lessons, for the sole purpose of sitting in the back row and hitting people in the back of the head with the slide.

My family, excluding my mom, of course, is also one of lock-pickers. My dad first picked the bathroom lock with a bobby pin when he was two, and (I assume) has been improving his skills ever since. I have only recently begun learning the highly venerable art of lock-picking, but as it runs in the family, I have hopes that I will soon be highly skilled in this area. So concludes the account of my family’s special talents. I hope you enjoyed it.

Comments

This is really fnnny. I

This is really fnnny. I laughed the whole way through. Your family sounds fun. I like it a lot!!!!! Why are my sentences so short? It almost sounds like broken english.

"As first things always come first, I will start with the first thing" Kendra

Alecia | Tue, 03/24/2009

It awoke with a shrill shreak that can be trnaslated "How dare you leave me in this bed, when I am asleep and helpless?" My sister

Thanks! Yeah, my family is

Thanks! Yeah, my family is pretty cool. I was in a really randomish mood when I wrote this and I just started rambling.

"The meek tyrannosaurus, victim of an innocent misunderstanding, tears like heck across the prehistoric valley." - Calvin and Hobbes

Bridget | Tue, 03/24/2009

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya

Those are the times when the

Those are the times when the best things are written.

"As first things always come first, I will start with the first thing" Kendra

Alecia | Tue, 03/24/2009

It awoke with a shrill shreak that can be trnaslated "How dare you leave me in this bed, when I am asleep and helpless?" My sister

Hee hee hee, I'm going to

Hee hee hee, I'm going to use the tape/toilet paper some time very soon...heh heh, I laughed about that one for a long time...So funny...

My mom would prabably have gotten me back because she does have a sense of humor. One time I had to do the dishes, and asked her to fill the sink with fresh water while I went to go do something else. She just left the old water there and put some soap in so that I would think it was fresh. That may not be a really terrible trick, but it bugged me and she knew it would. It's alright though, because I through suds at her...This being the first act of the new superhero SudszaGirl...

"It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you." from Batman Begins

The Brit | Tue, 03/24/2009

Thanks! I wasn't sure

Thanks! I wasn't sure anyone would actually like this!

"The meek tyrannosaurus, victim of an innocent misunderstanding, tears like heck across the prehistoric valley." - Calvin and Hobbes

Bridget | Tue, 03/24/2009

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya

LOL! btw, I love your quote

LOL!
btw, I love your quote and your bio!
*************************************************
Chaos.
Panic.
Disorder.
My work here is done.

Anna | Tue, 03/24/2009

I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief

ditto %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

ditto
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
I personally predict that the world will come crashing to a halt if you don't forward this to 50 Gazillion people by noon tomorow!!
-me (in parody of a chain e-mail)

Keri | Tue, 03/24/2009

I loved the toilet paper

I loved the toilet paper prank, haha! I'll have to try that sometime. I always like a good prank. Loved this!

Amy P | Wed, 03/25/2009

Wow, thanks, guys! The

Wow, thanks, guys! The toilet paper one was probably my favorite, except for the the lobster one.

"The meek tyrannosaurus, victim of an innocent misunderstanding, tears like heck across the prehistoric valley." - Calvin and Hobbes

Bridget | Wed, 03/25/2009

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya

My mom would like to point

My mom would like to point out that she, in fact, does have a sense of humor; she simply doesn't like being pranked. My dad would also like to point out that that he squirted the students with trombone cleaners, or something like that, not squirt guns. Sorry for the misunderstanding!

"The meek tyrannosaurus, victim of an innocent misunderstanding, tears like heck across the prehistoric valley." - Calvin and Hobbes

Bridget | Thu, 03/26/2009

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya

Ha!

This was great! I'm going to have to try some of these for April Fool's Day. *evil grin* But I feel sorry for your poor mother!

I've never been able to think of too many pranks, besides switching the cereal in the cereal boxes. Maybe I should put sugar in the salt shaker and see how my brother reacts (he loves lots of salt on his food). But that might be a bit mean. ;)

Hitting people with the trombone? Someone else I was talking to said the exact same thing. It must be a popular reason. :D

Sarah B. | Fri, 03/27/2009

Really? I thought that one

Really? I thought that one was an original. I'll have to tell my dad that I know he copied someone now. My brother puts a lot of salt and pepper in his soup, because he hates soup, and then he gags when he eats it. Thanks! I'm glad that you like it!

"The meek tyrannosaurus, victim of an innocent misunderstanding, tears like heck across the prehistoric valley." - Calvin and Hobbes

Bridget | Mon, 03/30/2009

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya

Heheheheheheh. *que evil

Heheheheheheh. *que evil grin*. I am so using the toilet paper one, at the first available opportunity. Hah hah hah hah!

"Here are the beauties which pierce like swords or burn like cold iron." C.S.Lewis

airlia | Tue, 03/31/2009

"It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God such men lived."
General George S. Patton

Cool, it seems like a lot of

Cool, it seems like a lot of people especially like the toilet paper one. Thanks!

"Wait a minute. Wait a minute, I am just about to be brilliant." - Cosmo, from Singing In The Rain

Bridget | Tue, 04/14/2009

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya

lolz! These have given me

lolz!
These have given me some good ideas..... :evilgrin:

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
"I wish I could fly, like dandelion seeds
Following currents, floating in the wind
Leaving behind the old and tormented
Seeking a place to start anew
I wish I could fly like dandelion seeds..."
~Unknown

Sarah | Wed, 04/15/2009

"Sometimes even to live is courage."
-Seneca

Blogging away!
busyscribbler.wordpress.com

Oh no, everybody's going to

Oh no, everybody's going to blame me when their brother gets mad about the toilet paper, or screams because there's a spider above him. I am not liable! It says so in the contract you signed before you read this!

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - John Wayne

Bridget | Wed, 04/15/2009

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya

JK. "Courage is being scared

JK.

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - John Wayne

Bridget | Wed, 04/15/2009

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya

Heehee, this is funny!

Heehee, this is funny!

Erin | Wed, 09/01/2010

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

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