Hot Air Balloon, Epilogue and Chapter 1

Fiction By Clare // 2/13/2010

Inspired by the song Hot Air Balloon by Owl City, the movie The Human Experience, Amelia Earhart, everything that's ever made me laugh, my family, my friends, the existence of God, and living life just for the fun of it.

 
Epilogue:
They sprawled out under the trees, their feet itching from running barefoot in the grass, with a notebook and two pens.
“I’ll start,” The girl said, her hair falling over her face so completely she had to hold it up with one hand just to see the paper. “Once upon a time, because all good stories start out that way,” Even though she was two years younger and only six, she was a better writer and speller.
The boy laughed. “There were two best friends,”
“And they were gonna have adventures,” She added.
“And they were gonna be best friends forever,” He said. “Anything else?”
She frowned. “I dunno. Sounds good to me,”
“Ok,” He said. “Wanna go inside and eat a fudgecicle?”
“Yeah!” She squealed. They leapt to their feet and raced inside.
And that was the very beginning of the friendship of Cody Ryan and Georgie O’Kay.

 

 

 

Chapter One:

Georgie Anne knew something epic was about to happen when Cody climbed up the rain gutter and banged on her bedroom window. It was about time, too. The two of them hadn’t done anything truly crazy since they blew up Mrs. Crabapple’s flower bed.

Georgie had been seated at her desk, doodling a large monster devouring her chores (washing dishes, vacuuming the floor, folding laundry, and scrubbing toilets), when Cody banged rather loudly on the window. Unfortunately, Jessica, Georgie’s 18 year old sister who she was forced to share a room with (along with her other older sister, Rachel), was in the room when Cody made his presence unsubtly known. Jessica was so startled, she leapt two feet in the air, thus ruining her nails, which she was in the process of painting, and getting polish all over her foot and leg, and flinging her cell phone, which she’d been sending a text on, halfway across the room.
“Georgiiie!!” Jessica screamed. “What was that!?”
“Um…I dunno…maybe a tree branch hit the window?” Georgie replied. “Why don’t you go tell Dad about it?”
“Why don’t you?” Jessica snapped. “I have to fix my nails…and find my phone,” She stormed out of the room, off to find the nail polish remover no doubt.
Georgie scrambled over to the window and threw it open. “Why hello, Romeo,” She said. Cody Ryan, her very best friend, was clinging to the side of the window, glaring at her. He was very tall for his age (somewhere around 5’11). He had shaggy dark brown hair that made Georgie’s mother wince, a large mouth, and dark eyes. Georgie thought he looked really dark and huge.
“Get out of the way,” Cody grunted. “Who screamed in here? It sounded like an alarm!”
“That was Jessica,” Georgie replied, sidestepping so he could fall into her room (literally). He made a valiant attempt at a ninja roll as he nosedived from the window sill to the floor, which failed miserably and he ended up flat on his back. “Ow,”
“You really need to find a better way of entering my home,” Georgie said. “Here’s an idea…you could use the front door, and walk in!”
“Way to straightforward,” Cody said, getting to his feet and dusting himself off. “Are your millions of sisters you share a room with going to come in here anytime soon?”
“There are only two of them,” Georgie said, rolling her eyes.
“What about the other five?” Cody asked.
“You mean three,” Cody always exaggerated the number of people in Georgie Anne’s already very large family.
“Whatever, are they going to barge in here?” Cody repeated.
Georgie shrugged. “That’s incredibly likely, but you never know…they may decide to give me some privacy for once in their lives. Why? What’s so important?”
“Where will they not barge in?”
“Nowhere,” Georgie replied. “Brian comes in even if the door is locked,”
“What is he doing here!?”
Georgie and Cody turned their heads and saw Rachel, who was 16, standing in the doorway. She was glaring at Cody like he was a filthy sock she wanted to incinerate, which was probably exactly how she felt about him.
“Hi Rachel,” Cody said, saluting.
“Get lost,” Rachel grumbled. “I thought you were in Sweden or something,”
“Um…I was in Texas,” Cody replied.
“Whatever,” Rachel replied. “I’m going to drink my iced tea and read my magazine elsewhere now,” She tossed her hair and left, muttering under her breath.
“She’s weird,” Cody said.
“She’s sixteen,” Georgie replied, figuring that summed up all of the annoying things Rachel said and did.
“Weird,” Cody concluded. “Anyway…I guess I should go say hi to your parents,”
 
Mr. and Mrs. O’Kay were sitting at the dining room table, feeding the twin toddlers Nathan and John some vile looking baby food when Cody and Georgie walked in.
“Hey Mom. Hi Dad.” Georgie said. “Cody’s here,”
“Why?” Mr. O’Kay grumbled. “Why is he always here,”
“Nice to see you, too, Mr. O,” Cody said.
Mrs. O’Kay looked up and gave Cody a small smile. “Hello, Cody. I didn’t hear you come in,”
“Ah, no…I used the window,” Cody replied.
Mrs. O’Kay’s eyes narrowed in exasperation. “Really…well that’s very nice. What are you doing here?”
“Well, school’s out and I was bored,” Cody replied.
“You might’ve stayed home and gotten started on your summer reading,” Mr. O’Kay said.
“Nice talking to you,” Cody said, very eager to get off the subject of voluntary schoolwork. “Come on, Georgie,”
“Where exactly are you taking my daughter?” Mr. O’Kay asked.
Georgie had to admit she glowed a little inside whenever her stepdad referred to her as his daughter. She was the only kid in the whole O’Kay family who wasn’t his kid. “We’re going for a walk,” She supplied. “Can Cody stay for dinner?”
“I can’t,” Cody said. “I have to be home tonight,”
“Good,” Mr. O’Kay said. He was not at all shy about showing his great dislike for Cody Ryan.
“Bye Georgie’s parents,” Cody said, grabbing Georgie’s arm and practically dragging her out of the kitchen. “Bye Mom, Bye Dad!” Georgie called.
They headed down the hallway to the front door, where they were intercepted by Brian and Maria, two of Georgie’s younger siblings. “Hi Cody,” Brian said. “Are you guys going on a date?”
“No, we’re going to blow up a bridge,” Cody replied.
“Cool!”
Maria gasped. “You’re gonna blow up a bridge!? Mommy! Cody and Georgie are gonna blow up a bridge!”
“Pardon me, darling younger siblings,” Georgie said. “Could you move out of the way? It’s a small hallway and you two take up more room than most people,”
“Make me move!” Brian cried, sticking out his tongue. Georgie was tempted to shove him aside to make room, but she knew if she did she would get in far more trouble than it was worth.
“Brian,” Cody said, bending down so he was at the same level with this eight year old boy. “If you provoke girls, they will take you at your word, and make you very, very sorry. I speak from experience. You need to be nice to girls,”
“She’s my sister,” Brian said.
“Yeah, I know,” Cody said. “Move,”
“Your friends are bossy,” Brian said, pouting as he headed towards the kitchen. “I’m hungry!” He loudly proclaimed.
“Bye, Bottomless Pit,” Georgie said, patting his head. “Have fun eating us out of house and home,”
“Don’t worry, I will,” Brian said. “Come on, Maria!”
Maria stuck her tongue out at Cody. “You keep stealing Georgie.”
“Let’s go!” Georgie cried. Switching places, she dragged Cody to the door and shoved him out. “Before someone else stops us!”
 
When the two of them had finally walked out the door and were on their way down the sidewalk, Georgie was about to explode. “Ok, you are so, so, so up to something huge,”
“Yep,” Cody replied. “So, so, so,”
“Tell me!” Georgie squeaked.
“Ok,” Cody said. “So, I’m leaving town for a while,”
“You just got back from Texas!” Georgie said, suddenly feeling very disappointed. She’d missed Cody terribly while he was gone, and the thought of him leaving again was hard.
“Yeah, Texas,” Cody said. “I was thinking of a different kind of trip,” He stopped suddenly and yanked Georgie into the Fisher family’s large hydrangea bushes. “I’m running away. Do you wanna come with me?”
Georgie was used to Cody’s very sudden decision making. But she was still confused. “What do you mean, running away?”
“I mean my family is driving me crazy…crazier than usual. Besides that, I got held back this year, so at the end of the summer, I have to start high school. I don’t think I’ll be able to put it off another year,”
“Blech,” Georgie said sympathetically. “But…how long?”
“As long as we want to,” Cody said.
“Where?”
“Wherever we want,”
“Why?”
“Just for the fun of it,”
“I’m in.”

Authors note: Ok, i am HUGELY in love with this story, so i would be thrilled to have some feedback. The main thing i'm worried about is Cody...do you find him a believable character? I have no clue...i'm trying to base his personality off guys i know, but i know a remarkably SMALL amount of guys, so i would love to know if you found him a realistic dude. Other than that, any comments would be awesome! I may add on to chapter 1 in the future, but for now, this is where it stands. Thanks much, Clare.

Comments

Well, um...

...not really.  Cody sounds too much like something out of hollywood -- no gentleman in him, no respect for adults, rude as all get out, irresponsible...  I have trouble sympathizing with him.  But other than that I'll revserve my judgment and wait for the next installment.  I'll admit, the part where Jessica is painting her nails and texting is a hillarious stereotype.

James | Tue, 02/16/2010

<><~~~~~~~~~~~~><>
"The idea that we should approach science without a philosophy is itself a philosophy... and a bad one, because it is self-refuting." -- Dr. Jason Lisle

CLAAAARE!!

*a hug and a squish* Yay, your first post! Three things:

1. Epilogues come at the end of a book, might wanna change that to prologue. I do love it though, they sound so cute! And I want a fudgesicle!

2. I noticed sometimes after quotations, "she" or "he" was capitalized. Leave it lowercase.

3.  James is right, Cody could use some more manners. He is a bit rude, and far too abrubt. But it is only the first chapter, and he sounds better in some of the stuff you've posted on TG.

Anyhow. Now I feel mean for all the criticism...but overall I really do love it! This line especially:
It was about time, too. The two of them hadn’t done anything truly crazy since they blew up Mrs. Crabapple’s flower bed.

That is hilarious. Never trust teens with explosives or fire! I know this from experience. *shudder*

KatieSara | Tue, 02/16/2010

Katie:-)

"Are all humans like this? So much bigger on the inside?"
-Idris/TARDIS

I like Cody; he's funny.  But

I like Cody; he's funny.  But yeah, James & Katie are right: he needs more manners.  Especially around Georgie's parents.  Everyone knows to be polite around your friends parents.  Other than that, it was really good.  (And hey, I'm a 16-year-old and I'm not... well wait, maybe I am?  Maybe not?  Yeah, I guess I'm weird.)
Welcome to AP!

Bridget | Tue, 02/16/2010

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya

Thank you so much....

Thank you so much everyone for you constuctive critisism!

1. First of all....yeah Katie, i messed up, it is INDEED supposed to be the Prologue. Go me *rolls eyes* Thanks for your advice/critisism i'm terrible with grammer and spelling, but i LOVE LOVE LOVE to write! How contradictory is that??? Lol

2. Thank you so much James! This is the hardest part of writing for me...i try to write what i know, but its hard when i have a character i just don't KNOW in real life. I didn't realize Cody was so rude to Goergie's parents, but i did want there to be an obvious reason why they didn't really like him. My intentions were that Cody was indeed a flawed character (you learn later in the book that his father left when he was young and he no longer feels he wants to face his life, so he decides to run awau), but Georgie is unable to see that because she feels Cody can do no wrong in a sense. He is SO something out of Hollywood, i agree, because thats the ONLY place i really see boys. My older sisters (who appear in this story as Jessica and Rachel and are EXACLTY the way they are portrayed lol) know a lot of guys so i HEAR about them from them, but i just have no expereince firsthand. I really don't want to abandon this story because i am kind of emotionally attached to it and its my favorite one i have written thus far. I openly admit it is weak and will need LOTS of help, so thanks for getting me started on the long checklist of things to work on.

3. Hi, Bridget! I am only fifteen, so you've got me there lol. I guess what i really nee is a guy to base Cody's character on, because most of the other characters are directly based on people i know really well.

Thanks again! I'll post more and keep trying. I've been writing for like, six years and theres no way i'm gonna stop!  :-)

Clare | Tue, 02/16/2010

::D

I really like it Clare-la! ::D Though I have to say that isn't how I see your sisters. ;;) Can't wait to read more!

kit-kat | Tue, 02/16/2010

REally liking this story

REally liking this story Clare, very funny and i like both Georgie and Cody and thier sense of mischeif. :)

Kay J Fields | Tue, 02/16/2010

Visit my writing/book review blog at http://transcribingthesedreams.blogspot.com/

Thank you

Thank you so much Katherine and Kay!

Katherine: Haha they love their cell phones and their perfect nails, but they are very VERY awesome, too! I lovses them.

Kay: Thats what I love about them, too!!!!! Awesome! Darn i am running out of comments!!!! Only one left after this one!!!! XP

Clare | Tue, 02/16/2010

Lol, I like this!! I agree

Lol, I like this!! I agree with the others about Cody, but I like this story.

I'm not as sure about Georgie agreeing right away to running off, because she seemed to love her family, so maybe take a little bit longer with them arguing or something. I enjoyed this though :-)

E | Fri, 02/19/2010

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Thanks, Erin!

Thanks so much, Erin! I have sooo much trouble with transitions like that sometimes! I love this whole story line, too! I know it needs work, but i am not gonna give up on it!

Clare | Fri, 02/19/2010

No, definitely don't give up

No, definitely don't give up on it! I'm awaiting more!

E | Sat, 02/20/2010

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

WEll....

WEll..... it is a good start for a stoy that is unrealistic, I say this in a good way. You could make them go on lots of advetures where they meet , men how are magical, and animals that fly and talk and creators friendly and fierce, beautiful and ugly, mystical and mysterious, fairys and dragon, sea creators and creators that have no names, and maybe even creators that only you can make up.

be creative, and couragious, wild and free. And dont get me worg you it was very good. But if you want it to be realistic you will have to change a lot of it.

I love it. It is a good begining and I hope it has a Wonderous ending.

sencerly

Kassady

Kassady | Sun, 02/21/2010

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

cute!:)

  I have to get off, so only read the prologue, but it seems like a good start to a good story. Friendship is probably one of the best things ever!!!!!!!!!! :)

Jackie West | Tue, 03/02/2010

:)

I like it! It's good!
I know that this is only the first chapter, and there are more up.... BUT... Whatever you do, I don't think you should put any magical things in it... I think this story will be good without magic, because I like it already!!!!!!!!

Kendra | Mon, 04/12/2010

<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\
"Are you sure this water is sanitary? It looks questionable to me! But what about bacteria?"--Tantor the elephant from Tarzan.

I am Rachel?!? o.O Have

I am Rachel?!? o.O Have mercy...

paperpoet | Thu, 05/13/2010

Nice!!

 I actually like Cody and his personality. Most of the time in books, the boys are kind. But Cody is straightforward and comes across is rude. For some reason, I find that to be refreshing. His personality really comes through in his words, I think. Mischievous, playful and easily frustrated. That's what he seems he is to me! 

Thanks for writing this! I can't wait to read chapter two!

Madeline | Wed, 06/09/2010

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Hmmm

The title attracted my attention. I'm not really sure how realistic it is?

Julie | Wed, 06/09/2010

Formerly Kestrel

i love cody dont you i love

i love cody dont you i love it!

Pristine | Thu, 07/01/2010

i love cody dont you i love

i love cody dont you i love it! he is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny

Pristine | Tue, 07/13/2010

sooooooooooo cool

it is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good i loved it sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much:                                                                                                                                                                            Pristine

Pristine | Tue, 07/13/2010

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