"Don't Drink It!"

Fiction By Edith // 6/24/2007

There is one thing I have learned throughout my life, and that is, do not leave a cup full of any liquid out in the open for more than five seconds when a bunch of friends are around you. You see, there could be trouble, and that there was. This, my friend, is coming from personal experience. Take my advice.
There is one good thing about diners and friends and, well, the world… and that is, you learn things! Almost all the time! I can recall one rainy day, after Mass on a Sunday morning, January 14, 2007, going out to a nice little diner around the corner of O.L.L. Parish, with the C’s and the other F’s, and us of course, the F. family. It all started out as we left the little Chapel with Father’s Blessing after Mass….all starving and stomachs rumbling for a nice breakfast meal.
“What say we head over to Pete’s Diner?” Mr. F. asked the families. Our stomachs roared in reply.

“I. Am. Starving.” moaned Kayla F. as we walked up the steps of the diner. “I didn’t eat a thing this morning.”
“Ack, neither did I! WOW. That smells good.” I sighed happily as I held the diner door open for the F. family and my own. The C’s had not yet arrived.
“What do you think you’re going to order?” Kalya asked me as she looked through the glass shelf of desserts.
“Food!” I replied.
“Good choice.” She snorted.
We then seated ourselves at the long table of 15 seats, and grabbed the first menu we could see.
“I’m not sure yet…” mumbled my sister, Moira, as she skipped through the breakfast pages.
“Chicken fingers, no doubt about it!” Said Kayla.
“Egg sandwich, all the way. On a bagel!” Shouted my brother, Gregory. Elbows on the table and all…
“Uh,” I cleared my throat, “I hate choices… there’s pancakes, waffles, chicken fingers, French toast, burgers, omelets, too many choices.”
“I think I’ll have a sandwich.” Said Caitlyn F.
Then the C’s arrived, and seated themselves, five more people to our table.
By the time our waitress asked us to order, our fingers throbbed from turning the menus large plastic pages.
“Cheeseburger – deluxe, please.” John Paul C. ordered.
“Burger, please.” Moira ordered.
“BLT, please!” Caitlyn paused. “On white bread.”
“Chicken fingers, please.” Connell (Junior) F. ordered.
“Ditto!” Said Christian C.
“Egg sandwich on bagel, please!!” Greg ordered along with a milkshake. (Chocolate, to be exact.)
“Chicken fingers and onion rings, please.” Yes, I finally made up my mind after much turning back and changing minds and asking and wondering and thinking.
“Chicken fingers, please.” Ordered Kayla.
Ah, it seemed like hours until our food arrived. But while waiting, I decided to experiment with a little “MacGyver” touch to it. Taking a spoon, a fork, a knife, and ripped up napkin, I decided to make I don’t know what, exactly. But it worked whatever it was. It was like a spring sort of seesaw thing that threw napkins at our friends.
“Interesting, T…” Said J.P. “What is it?”
“It’s called a Theresa-ism thingamabob.” I replied.
“Ah.” He muttered.
“You know, I really feel like going to the movies today...” Said Kayla as she took a sip from her coke.
“All I want is another MacGyver and Hogan’s Heroes season while sitting on the couch rooting for good ol’ Shultz or Murdoc with a bag of popcorn and juice in my hands. That’ll be just fine.” I laughed. “Or it sounds good to just get my breakfast, if not better.” I smirked and took a sip from my water while bending my straw.
The conversation went on, from one subject to another, from coke to gasoline (not that those two are any different from each other…) or cake to football or cars to buggies or computers to pens.
I waited. And waited. And talked. And waited. And talked. And drank. And – then – finally, breakfast came, and the waitress gave out one plate at a time. What commotion!!
“Anyone want my onion rings?” Asked J.P. as he raised two large onion rings in the air.
“Me! Me! Me!” Called Mary C. as she took her brother’s flying onion rings.
“G – No more of that milkshake until you finish your bagel – ” Moira said across the table to Gregory.
“Treesh, can you pass me that ketchup, please?” Mary asked me.
“Christian, can’t you stop reading at the table?” Asked Connell.
“Aw! I got chocolate milk on my coat!” Groaned Caitlyn.
“Hey M, can you get that other ketchup bottle over there?” Kayla asked Moira.
“Erm, this burger is falling apart!” Cried J.P.
“So, how did you like Mike Huckabee? I thought he was marvelous!” Said my dad, to Mr. C.
“I thought he was terrific. Prayers will be needed big time!” Said Mr. F.
“Robert, can you get that butter over there, please?” Mrs. C. asked Mr. C.
“Sure, Julie. Bob can you pass that butter please?” Mr. C. asked dad.
“Christian, what are you reading?” Asked Gregory with a mouth full of bacon.
“The Hardy Boys!!” Sighed Christian happily. More like shouted.
‘So lemme take ya now, don’t let ya leave me’ went on the crazy music. I was not even sure of the words. One can’t always tell.
Oh, my ears rang like the bells on Easter day at Mass. Only those bells are beautiful and breathtaking. This one was not beautiful, but it was breathtaking, and “that you may tie to!”.

About an hour passed by, and I had finished all but three onion rings on my plate. What could I do?
“Hey, T,” Called Moira. “I’ll trade you some of those onion rings for Caitlyn’s French fries over here.”
“…That doesn’t make sense…” I giggled.
Caitlyn laughed and dropped her fork. “Sweet, Moira. Very.” She winked.

“Look! It’s dry ice!” Kayla said.
“Dry ice??” I had to glance twice at Kayla’s and Mary’s little experiment on their napkins. There were ice cubes covered with salt and pepper, and it froze and did not melt. “Interesting little idea.” I muttered in thought.
“One time I put a bunch of stuff in a friends drink, like this – once.” Said Kayla.
“Yeah I did that once. Only it was way more than one cup. I think I did them all, with oil and syrup and pepper and salt and everything.” Said J.P. as he poured more pepper on Kayla’s ice cube.
“Did anyone drink it?” I asked curiously.
J.P. laughed, “No, because they knew not to leave their drinks alone for more than five seconds. Unfortunately…”
“Hahah, oh.” I said as I took a sip from my water.

Gagged… and grabbed a napkin.

I will end here. Never leave cups full of any liquid out in the open for more than five seconds when a bunch of friends are around you.



Totally Right!!

Edith, you're completely right on this. I have had this done to me and done it to my friends more times than I can count. Salt, pepper, shredded napkin...yeah. Have you ever had people mix your drinks? One friend of mine stole my half full cup of lemonade and added unsweetened peach tea to it. Another time the same guy poured another friend's cup of water into mine...after we'd both drunk out of it!! Thankfully I was saved from drinking that one.
Never leave your cup alone!

Anonymous | Mon, 06/25/2007

Your right! Your good at

Your right!

Your good at Writing.

Gregory | Mon, 07/02/2007


User login

Please read this before creating a new account.