hematologist oncologist

A Poem By Erin // 11/5/2018

your body is
attacking itself.
she didn’t know
that your organs were swelling.
rearranging themselves.
they tried to make art
out of your insides.

switch scenes to the hospital:
she walks in and you barely look up
you are so pale.
the doctor glides in .
he is a hematologist oncologist—
her heart, a vessel of uninfected blood, pounding in her ears.
is your blood infected?
dr oncologist tells you he wants to drill into your bone
and remove its marrow.
he asks if you want to wait for anesthesia.
you say no because you are brave.
you are awake when they drill inside you.
she has never seen you cry until now.
the salt of your tears stings the papercut on her hand
but she holds it there.
her curly headed boy. her tan beautiful boy. face devoid of
the blood (infected?).

what can she do when your body is attacking itself?
what can (I) do when your body is attacking itself?
every week take blood out put it back in
take blood out put it back in
take blood out
put it back in.

Comments

Holy crap this hits home

Holy crap this hits home hard. You are amazing...this captures the raw emotion, the trauma, like a journal or photograph...the use of all the -ologies, the period usage and uncapitalized dr, the repetition of the last few lines all speak of the bewilderment of being in that situation, not understanding either the medical procedure itself but also the philosophical “why did this happen to US” bewilderment.

I’d love to see it the way you intended. It’s good to read something of yours again!i

Hannah D. | Tue, 11/06/2018

"Reason itself is a matter of faith. It is an act of faith to assert that our thoughts have any relation to reality at all." - G. K. Chesterton

the ending gave me chills.

the ending gave me chills. seriously. ERIN. I have missed your work. this is a breath of fresh air that transcends the page. and the change from she to (I) was so incredibly powerful. pleasepleaseplease send this to me in its original form?

Madeline | Tue, 11/06/2018

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Thank you both so much for

Thank you both so much for your encouragement! Hannah: if you feel comfortable giving me an email I'd be happy to send the original document along :)

Erin | Wed, 11/07/2018

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Mimic others posts~

Basically just mimicking the others posts because oh my word, this poem. The ENDING. I... wow, I don't really even have words for this. Ugh. It makes me sick, which is good, it absolutely captures that horrible, dreadful feeling. Well done.

Heather Jones | Fri, 11/09/2018

psalm 84:10 esv / *thumbs-up*

I’m going to be incredibly

I’m going to be incredibly basic and say: I’m shook. Erin you took my breath away, brought tears to my eyes, and had me feeling my own heart. Thank you for that. You have SO much talent. I am literally in awe of you right now.

Damaris Ann | Mon, 11/12/2018

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.

Thank you so much to both of

Thank you so much to both of you, I really appreciate it!

Erin | Mon, 11/12/2018

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

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