What You Could Have Been

A Poem By Ezra // 5/21/2008

A hall; a tall foreboding house of stone:
Set upon the lonely, stretching snow,
And there, by its rusty iron gate, I stood
With a tall, strange friend I did not know

“Come,” he spoke, and went on, through the gate;
I followed him, past quiet trees which stood
Like long dead sentries, menacing the path,
With blackened leaves and limbs of rotten wood

The door was large, and heavy, rough-hewn oak,
And beckoned us, with haste, to go away;
But still we made a cautious entrance there,
And I, with silent wonder heard him say:

“What you see is what you could have been:
It was, if I remember, offered long ago
Some place now veiled behind the mists of time;
And why you didn’t, I will never know.”

Inside were tables piled high with food,
And many goblets glistening with wine
But looking on, I only saw one chair
Of gilded gold, a lonely place to dine

The walls were made of cold and polished marble;
The ceilings carved with alabaster stone,
Inlayed with gold and jewels and precious diamonds
Which shone brilliantly, and glistened, all alone

Large tapestries were hung across the great hall,
Each one to point the passing of a year;
All pictured scenes of wealth and silent treasures,
Though the older ones were faded and unclear

I looked with raptured silence
Through the many rooms and lofty-covered halls
And to a dreary garden,
With bare-limbed trees and frosty, high stone walls

And there we found a grave for
A lonely man whose death was long ago;
“Here lies he who triumphed,
Now dead,” was the inscription on the stone

Comments

Good job!

Wow..spooky.

Heather | Thu, 05/22/2008

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And now our hearts will beat in time/You say I am yours and you are mine...
Michelle Tumes, "There Goes My Love"

intriguing

Interesting and kind of creepy, in a good way.

Anna | Thu, 05/22/2008

I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief

;)

weird...in a good way. I like it, but it's very strange.

Sarah | Thu, 05/22/2008

"Sometimes even to live is courage."
-Seneca

Blogging away!
busyscribbler.wordpress.com

sorry!

sorry don't know how to delete extra comments...

Christa | Thu, 05/22/2008

sorry!

Not sure why this posted three times... arrrgghhh...

to reply though Ezra, you don't let the readers know that the main character made the correct choice, since we don't have any background on him? Dying lonely and rich and young (but triumphant!) might have been preferable to however the main character is...

Christa | Thu, 05/22/2008

Lovely writing style Ezra

Lovely writing style Ezra :). It brings to mind Dicken's A Christmas Carol. What was the inspiration?
Since we know so little about what the character's current situation is, I'm rather ambiguous about the main character but I'm rather in awe of the situation you put him in. If given a choice, would you choose to visit a path you didn't take and couldn't change? I don't know that I would...

Christa | Thu, 05/22/2008

Ah

I guess the idea that I was trying to convey is that the character could have taken it but decided not to - it was "offered long ago." And that the character originally made the right choice...

I have read this one in front of three different audiences, and the first two times I recieved a number of confused stares :S

Ezra | Thu, 05/22/2008

"There are no great men of God. There are only pitiful, sorry men whose God is great beyond measure." - Paul Washer [originally Jonathan Edwards]

I wanted to leave that open

I wanted to leave that open ended - the main point is that pursuit of riches does not equal happiness - and what is normally though of as triumph can be bitter if other things are sacrificed for it.

Ezra | Fri, 05/23/2008

"There are no great men of God. There are only pitiful, sorry men whose God is great beyond measure." - Paul Washer [originally Jonathan Edwards]

That's exactly what I got

That's exactly what I got out of it. I like reading open-ended and/or deep things. A Christian author you remind me of is George MacDonald...ever read him? He wrote in the late 1800s, I think. Novels (my favorites are The Highlander's Last Song and Sir Gibbie) and fantasy books (Princess and the Goblin, Princess and Curdie, Phantastes, Lilith). So anyway for some reason this poem especially reminds me of something he'd write. Very well done!

Heather | Fri, 05/23/2008

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And now our hearts will beat in time/You say I am yours and you are mine...
Michelle Tumes, "There Goes My Love"

This is really good. I like

This is really good. I like seeing what a person could have been at a different angle. Usually when written about, what you could have been is something better than you are, but I like that this was more like the right choice was made to begin with.

Tamerah | Fri, 05/23/2008

Princess and the Goblin - I

Princess and the Goblin - I remember that as a bedtime story when I was 10. I've never read any of his other books, though.

Ezra | Fri, 05/23/2008

"There are no great men of God. There are only pitiful, sorry men whose God is great beyond measure." - Paul Washer [originally Jonathan Edwards]

I read The Princess and

I read The Princess and Curdie. And a collection of Christmas stories. But that's about it.

Anna | Fri, 05/23/2008

I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief

I remember my mom reading

I remember my mom reading The Princess and the Goblin to me when I was little.

Tamerah | Fri, 05/23/2008

I just got The Light

I just got The Light Princess from the library, it's by him. I haven't started it yet, but it looks interesting. Supposedly it's about a princess who's "lost her gravity." :)

Anna | Fri, 05/23/2008

I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief

weird. I'm trying to find a

weird.
I'm trying to find a book that seemingly doesn't exist.

Sarah | Fri, 05/23/2008

"Sometimes even to live is courage."
-Seneca

Blogging away!
busyscribbler.wordpress.com

I've read that!

The Light Princess. It's different but really cool. It's one of my favorite George MacDonald stories.

Anonymous | Sat, 05/24/2008

Ummm

The above comment was me. I wasn't logged in but didn't know I wasn't logged in. So yeah. And Ezra you should read The Highlander's Last Song, if you're into old novels. It's one of my absolute favorite George MacDonald books. Besides his fantasy, Lilith.

Heather | Sat, 05/24/2008

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And now our hearts will beat in time/You say I am yours and you are mine...
Michelle Tumes, "There Goes My Love"

=)

Good job Ezra.

Velocity | Sat, 05/31/2008

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The Truth will set you free.

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