Mirror, Mirror and other poems

A Poem By little woman // 4/13/2013

I: Mirror, Mirror
Staring at this glassy slate
searching for hidden truths
defining myself by what I see
one moment I'm lovely
beautiful
beyond any compare
the next I'm ugly
my faults plain to see
I'm a vain creature
I'm trying to stop
judging myself
by the reflection
wipe clear the slate
love myself
as unique
I've heard that I'm beautiful
I disagree
but I care too deeply
what you might see
what looks back
from that cold glassy slate
staring
locking eyes with me

II: Sob
fighting the swell
rising in my throat
choking
the air is too tight
it's difficult to breathe
I struggle to fill my lungs
without releasing the sob
overtaking my mind
my vision blurs
muddled
by distorted lenses
I grasp for the bit of control I have left
seeking to act calm

III: Time
do you ever feel
your life is hyper-real
each detail lodging in your head
everything clear, distinct
moments pass sharp and defined.

have you ever lived
in a state of rushing shock
time a speeding blur
encircling like a cloud
of butterflies
unreachable, soon gone

the future can seem moldable
waiting for your dreams
and at the same time
out of control
no longer full of promise
only stress and heartache and pain

time
seemingly defying limits
yet only twenty-four hours a day
confined in a clock
metal and gears
yet flowing free
a current dragging me

IV: birthdays
a birthday approaching
a new year portends
changes coming
one year older
don't feel like that
wondering
what will come
in the hovering months

V: Strength
they tell me I'm strong
that I know all my stuff
they tell me my faith cannot easily be shaken
but how can they know,
if I've never truly been tested
to have failed thus far
would be unprecedented
I am flattered by
their faith in me
but as for my faith
I hope it is strong
enough
to grow and not die
I pray it does not die
but how do they know?
and how do I?

VI: not afraid
what would I do
if I were not afraid
how different would I be
living free from fear
would I be happier
or merely less sad
would my life look different
to an impartial eye
would I dream bigger
would I still cry
what about those things
I did not say or do
how would they have affected you
could I live without this fear
I want to live
without this fear

VII: practical cynicism
practical cynicism
tears me apart
making the romantic in me cry
but yet it cannot be
any other way
in this world
of surviving by
practical cynicism

Comments

How come you're not a monthly

How come you're not a monthly writer?!

Seriously....how come you're not? You should apply to be one, if you think you'd like to. You've been on here for almost three years, I saw!!

So you should totally apply. :)

As for what would I do if I wasn't afraid...that's actually a really good question. Several things, I suppose. Try to go for the bigger notes in voice lessons instead of shying away. LOL! Be more vocal about what I like and tend to be less agreeable. Like, if someone said they didn't like a specific type of music that I like, and they ask me if I like it, I'd probably say "no." Not to sound like I'm some huge liar -- I'm not -- but I don't want to seem silly for liking certain stuff. :P It's something I'm trying to work on.

And, of course, there are tons of other things! That's seriously a great question. :)))

Great work, again!

And...um...sorry for the double edits. :P

Madeline | Thu, 04/18/2013

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

I'd like to be a monthly

I'd like to be a monthly writer...maybe I will apply. I guess I just never thought of myself as someone who could.

I'm guilty of that too. Hiding myself in the hopes that they'll like me better. (I think I feel a poem coming on...) Actually, part of the reason I love AP so much is that I feel like it allows me to express myself without worrying about what other people might think, or how I have to stay within their pre-conceived notions. I feel like I can be more of me. If that makes sense :)

You've inspired me to go write that poem. And I'll definitely think about applying for monthly-writership. Thank you for your encouragement! :)

And I don't mind the edits :)

I just realized that I ended every line/paragraph-thingy with a smiley face. lol!

Thanks again!

little woman | Fri, 04/19/2013

The most astonishing thing about miracles is that they happen.
-G. K. Chesterton

Ditto!

You should definitely apply to be a monthly! Then I wouldn't have to look in the comments for HomeschoolGirl's comment's to your poetry :P Which I've been doing WAY too often! LOL

Loved Mirror, Mirror, probably my favorite one. I really like the first poems that you post. Very, very catching and very well worded. Makes you think. Well done!

If I weren't afraid? I would have to agree with Homey again, I would probably express myself a bit more than I do. I'd probably be more vocal about my opinions, and I definitely wouldn't judge people for things I don't understand :P For Example: Dating. I judge that a lot, and I've got to stop. Especially after writing an essay on not being judgmental :P Haha.

Very good! Love your poetry, always.

Kassady | Fri, 04/19/2013

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

II. Sob

One actually two times, I was at church, and some news came to me that really devastated me and turned events way over. I had a lot of trouble trying not to cry, and Sob is the perfect description of how I wanted to cry, how I needed to cry, but absolutely refused to. Good job.

Lucy Anne | Fri, 07/12/2013

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

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