Death is not a thing of beauty

A Poem By Christa // 10/18/2007

No, I must disagree
Death is not a thing of beauty
Of joy in afterlife
Death is not a thing of poetry
Of romantic notions of love
Left behind

For those who are yet alive
Death hits you like a betraying punch
Like a slip on the stairs
At the bottom of which
You look up unpleasantly surprised
And hurt
You shake yourself off
And tell yourself it’s nothing
But you’re black and blue
And in pain

Death is horror
At seeing a loved one so different
So completely at odds with life
Their face a loving mockery
Of that which you love and miss
And then
Death is guilt
First, why can’t you cry
Second, why can’t you stop crying
At the funeral
You’re seated too far from the tissues
But the ones clutched tightly in your hand
Are soggy and full of holes
So you let the tears and snot
Trail down your face
As you try not to sob too loudly.

Later, the horror and guilt and sadness fade
Brought back only by an odd memory
Death becomes yet again a mystery
Like the memory of pain
Never quite as bad as when you go through it
But remembered none the less

No, Death is not beautiful
At least it wasn’t for me

Comments

thoughts

The dying and leaving is very hard, and many times not beautiful in the least. The being left behind, and longing for them back again, likewise. But the beauty in death is not in the dying. It's in the rising after that, eternally. And the beauty for us who are left behind to feel the tread of loss in our hearts, is the conviction that they are in God's hands. If you believe in His love and His grace, nothing will shadow that beauty to be seen. And you can feel peace, in the knowledge that their maker and creator, is making them new.
Death will probably always be a painful difficult thing. Watching them suffer, feeling their absence with every breath that you breath... but that's your Saturday. Mary had a Saturday when Jesus was laid in the tomb. Her son died, and did not rise till Sunday. Your Sunday will come. Sometimes, the person we lose, seems closer. And that pain and suffering they went through that plagues your mind, no longer exists for them. Don't be afraid.

Anonymous | Sat, 10/20/2007

Thank you

Thanks for your thoughts, I like your Saturday analogy :)

Anonymous | Tue, 10/23/2007

Your poem/essay is too true.

Your poem/essay is too true. I can't understand why we were supposed to be happy that daddy had "gone home" forever, You have summed up my feelings perfectly. I have but one question. Did you have someone close to you who died? you seem to insinuate that in this writing.

Sarah | Tue, 11/13/2007

"Sometimes even to live is courage."
-Seneca

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thanks

Hi Sarah, thanks for your comment. I'm always happy to hear when someone relates to my writing. I've had a few people close to me pass on, including my father, but this particular piece was written after my grandmother passed away. I was very close to her, and I still think of her often. I don't mean to sound like I have no hope of seeing her again - I think I will - but I believe that even with that hope, death is ugly and hurtful.

Christa | Tue, 11/13/2007

Ithink i kow how you feel,

Ithink i kow how you feel, My daddy died 12 months ago, my grandma died 6 yrs ago, a couple close frineds of the family have died, and Death is NOT a thing of beauty.

Sarah | Wed, 11/14/2007

"Sometimes even to live is courage."
-Seneca

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