Sir Lot and the Young Knight

A Poem By Sarah B. // 3/28/2009

Just a bit of craziness. ;)
Inspired by Sir Lot of Orknay and Lothian (wasn't he in the King Arthur legends? Anyway, I saw the names and thought they were funny.)

------
Sir Lot of Orknay
Was a very strange fellow
His beard, it was black
But his hair, it was yellow

Sir Lot of Lothian
(And yes, this is true)
His eyes, they were pink
But his teeth, they were blue

Nobody had beat him
To this very day
For when anyone saw him
They fainted away

But one young knight
Said “Bah, humbug!” to that
“I’ll defeat him today!
Now where was my hat?”

So he put on his hat
And set off that day
To defeat Sir King Lot
Before his hair turned gray

“For really,” he said,
“‘Twould be no great trick
To defeat a fellow
As old as St. Nick!”

“Don’t worry about that!”
Merlin said with a laugh.
“Thing is, when you’re dead,
Who’ll write your epitaph?”

(Merlin was, by the way,
At this time,
The undisputed master
Of horrible rhymes.)

But the young knight set off
On that warm, sunny day
It’d been snowing since dawn,
And the sky was green-gray

“Now, that’s a bit of a wind,
Is that,”
Said the knight,
Keeping tight hold of his hat

The wind picked him up
And then set him down
Ten miles away
In the middle of town

The peasants were nestled
All snug in their beds,
When visions of whirlwinds
Roared through their heads

And they had such a headache
That when they awoke
They all glared at the knight
Before he even spoke

And they ran him out
Of town on a rail.
“Well, at least it stopped snowing.”
And down came the hail

But the young knights went on
In spite of the stones
Though they rattled his teeth
And shook all his bones

But as the hail stopped
He came by some boys
Who’d been playing in the dirt
With their poor little toys

When the hail had come down
Pelting them black and blue
The young knight was sad
And wondered what he could do

Then he had an idea -
As they started to bawl
He picked up some hailstones
And taught them baseball!

And there followed such a game
As had never been seen
From twelve-hundred three
To nineteen-eighteen

And the knight and the boys
Became such great friends
That they all came along
When he set off again

They had so many adventures
That half are forgot
After two hours journey
They saw the castle of Sir Lot

They were promptly captured
And taken within
When Sir King Lot saw them
He smiled a blue grin

“Since trespassers are not permitted,”
He said,
“In just half an hour,
I’m afraid you’ll be dead.”

The knight had to quickly
Come up with a plan
Then he had an idea
And held up his hands

He winked at the boys
To prepare them for something
Then he turned to Sir Lot and cried,
“Hail to the king!”

Then the boys all remembered
The hailstones in their hands
They hurled them at Sir Lot
And Sir Lot, he ran

With the hailstones
Being thrown by the boys
Bouncing off his crown
Making a dreadful noise

‘Till one well-thrown stone
Knocked it clear off him head
He threw himself down on his knees
And said,

“You have conquered, Sir Knight!
But spare my life, please!
I’ll change, I’ll do good,
I’ll give up blue cheese!”

The knight thought to himself,
“No wonder he looks strange!
My sister ate blue cheese,
Her skin turned orange!”

The king was till pleading
“Can I become a better man?”
And the knight smiled down at him
And said, “You can.”

So he gave him his crown
And let him stay king
And Sir Lot grasped his hands
And said, “Anything!

Ask of me anything,
I’ll give it to you!
After what you have done,
It’s the least I can do!”

Then the knight whispered something
In the king’s ear.
He smiled and said, “Right.
Now, you boys, come up here.”

And as they came up,
he said, “I understand
You boys have no home.
Well, then here’s my command -

You all, and the knight,
Can live here - yes, stay.”
And the boys all gaped,
And didn’t know what to say

Until the king laughed
And so did the knight
The boys started cheering
It was a wonderful sight

So they stayed at the castle
And taught the court to play ball
They lived happily ever after -
And yes, I think that’s all.

“Finally,” groaned Merlin,
“I thought it’d never end!
And you’ve got quite a bit to learn about rhyming,
My friend.”

Oh, Merlin, please shush
The story is done.
And the hour is late,
So goodnight, everyone.

Comments

HeHeHe!

This was really funny! Good job writing it.
-------------------------------------------------
"My brains, his steel, and your strength against sixty men, and you think a little head jiggle is supposed to make me happy?"--Westley

Kendra | Thu, 04/02/2009

<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\
"Are you sure this water is sanitary? It looks questionable to me! But what about bacteria?"--Tantor the elephant from Tarzan.

My favorite stanza

My favorite stanza was
(Merlin was, by the way,
At this time,
The undisputed master
Of horrible rhymes.)

*************************************************
Chaos.
Panic.
Disorder.
My work here is done.

Anna | Thu, 04/02/2009

I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief

LOL!

I like all the stanzas with Merlin! :0)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And now our hearts will beat in time/You say I am yours and you are mine...
Michelle Tumes, "There Goes My Love"

Heather | Tue, 04/07/2009

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And now our hearts will beat in time/You say I am yours and you are mine...
Michelle Tumes, "There Goes My Love"

This is hillarious.

This is hillarious. :)
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Seen on a billboard advertising
a Septic Tank Company:
"We're #1
in the #2 business."

Sarah | Wed, 04/08/2009

"Sometimes even to live is courage."
-Seneca

Blogging away!
busyscribbler.wordpress.com

Haha, I love this, Sarah B.

Haha, I love this, Sarah B. It's really funny, and a little bit weird (which, of course, is a compliment in my world). My poems never end up this long; most of them are 4 or 5 verses long.

"Wait a minute. Wait a minute, I am just about to be brilliant." - Cosmo, from Singing In The Rain

Bridget | Thu, 04/09/2009

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya

I just counted. 40 verses!

I just counted. 40 verses! Yeeksh. I don't think I could do that.

"Wait a minute. Wait a minute, I am just about to be brilliant." - Cosmo, from Singing In The Rain

Bridget | Thu, 04/09/2009

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya

O_O

40 verses?! I totally didn't realize there was that many! Oh, well, at least they're short. :D

Sarah B. | Thu, 04/09/2009

The stanza I liked best

The stanza I liked best was

"Oh, Merlin, please shush
The story is done.
And the hour is late,
So goodnight, everyone."

but the whole thing was awsome

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
I personally predict that the world will come crashing to a halt if you don't forward this to 50 Gazillion people by noon tomorow!!
-me (in parody of a chain e-mail)

Keri | Fri, 04/10/2009

Oh boy...

That was hilarious!
---
The Word is alive/and it cuts like a sword through the darkness
With a message of life to the hopeless/and afraid...

~"The Word is Alive' by Casting Crowns

May my words be a light that guides others to the True Light and Word.

Julie | Sun, 05/10/2009

Formerly Kestrel

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