Living in pain

I hide behind the darkness of my eyes, the brightness that was there once, Is no longer. My smile has become faded to an outstanding straight face. My heart is broken in-two, the depression has reached me and pulled me under. I can’t get up, and take a breath of fresh air until I have defeated the current. My blush is put on so much I look fake, as if I weren’t really here. Just something standing over in the corner by myself. The little energy I get is only left over from days behind me. I can barely stand, I start falling to the ground, but my knees are the only shaking things that keep me alive. I know that if I fall to the ground I will be no more. My body is very weak; I am in need and admit it to God. I know he can forgive me but I’m yet to ask, “God,” I start out all most saying the things that clench my mind throughout each day. “Lord…” I say and mumble the rest thinking God can’t hear me and wouldn’t want to listen. But I’ve heard that he will, not knowing what is to be of me I rest my head on my wobbly arms. My tears run through my dark black makeup making my face a grey color. I barely make it to the light of the morning, as the sun comes up over the waters the birds flying peacefully threw the air. “God!” I start to cry out. “God if you can hear me…. Please take my fear and pain away from me.” *crying* “Lord I want to be clean take my heart and wipe it off.” I felt a little bit of peace as I held on to the cement building and pulled myself up to stand. My legs became stronger and my body didn’t hurt. The pain I had felt from the people that had stabbed my chest was almost all gone. I felt my wounds getting well, and I started to walk, slowly putting one foot in front of the other. I start to fall, but my hands held me up. I looked at an older poor lady, sitting in the corner of the building, her clothes had been torn and ripped, her hair was a mess her face was old and wrinkled. I had just now noticed her, my eyes were opened. I hadn’t seen her before, and I wondered if she though older and a totally different life had felt what I was feeling mere minutes before…