Who I Am...Or Maybe Not

Submitted by Libby on Fri, 12/07/2018 - 01:30

I’m not a perfect person.
You know that, but I thought I’d
tell you what it’s like to be
the girl I am.
And yet, I really do not want
to tell you everything because
I am not who you think
I am—
that's just the way
I am.
And right now, I am
struggling with telling you
what’s most important, yet
I’m really dying to tell you
all about myself.
And now, I think that
I will stop
with pen and ink this
scratching on my
paper, for I do not want to
bore you any longer.
(or tell you about myself—
my real self!)
So please stop reading—
go away—
it's nicer knowing you
don’t know
about my life, and I
think that’s okay.

Author's age when written


I actually really enjoy this. Honestly, for me (I'm not sure if this is what you're talking about, but I'll put it here anyway ^^), it is so difficult to write about something other than myself, ha xDDD The stuff that's more important doesn't come to be as often. This is a great reminder to think outside the box, so to speak.

“planting seeds inevitably changes my feelings about rain.” —luci shaw.
psalm 84:10 esv.

I’ve been meaning to comment, but didn’t feel like I was yet able to express my thoughts. I still don’t feel able, but I’m going to try. :)
I think this is a very accurate showing of your personality; the dying-to-tell-everything flanked by the please-don’t-draw-attention-to-me sort of feelings. I tend to mostly feel the first, but the second has become more prevalent since I’ve acquired anxiety. :P I love how you expressed this, especially the lines written in parentheses.
I’m not sure if I’ve expressed it well, or even understood your original meaning, but you really resonated with me personally, and it was neat to see some of my unexplainable feelings in print. So thank you for that. :)

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.