Darkness, You Despair

Submitted by Damaris Ann on Sat, 07/07/2018 - 00:35

He thought it was the right answer
And so took his own life
His arm breathed an apology
For being dead inside

His friends take time to mourn for him
His family weeps with pain
Yet Alex our own broken loss
Should not have been your gain

The dominoes come crashing down
As air is filled with threats
Kids unstable, and razors sharp
Affect forgets regret

One death first, and then another
Your self inflicted loss
You curse your friend and your mother
Refuse to share your cross

“I’m here for you” I state again
To you seem empty; bare
I try to point you to the light
But darkness, you despair

I mourn for you, try to hold you close
Am lost by this vast space
Net won’t allow physical touch
So I give myself grace

But sympathy can’t be enough
When truth is masked in “love”
Honesty isn’t allowed speech
Friendship must first be proved

You see faith is freedom from pain
Politic? Incorrect
For me to share about true Love
Must risk pride’s intellect

Is false peace better than honesty?
I must take a step back
So I will share my faith with you
Under risk of attack

So here I am, with pad and pen
Hoping beyond despair
That you will see and understand
“This one must surely care”

Author's age when written

I know I’ve been posting a few poems about depression in the last year. I swear, I’m mentally stable right now. God has been really good and I’m at a really good place right now. BUT I have a mini-ministry in the form of an Instagram page that I use to talk to depressed/suicidal kids. Kinda like a suicide hotline but on social media. This poem itself is about a young man who recently committed suicide, and when his family found him he had cut the words “I’m sorry” into his arm. His friends were devastated, and the fallout from how he left has been heartbreaking. This was my way of working through what I thought about everything that happened, so if any of the lines are confusing please feel free to ask me about them. :) ALSO I’m soooooo sorry I’ve been so inactive!! I may post soon explaining my absence, and I’m gonna try really hard to catch up on all of the posts and start being active again. Love you all!!


I think that’s a really neat thing you’re doing, Damaris. Depression is not a fun thing, and there are a lot of people who do not know how to deal with it. Are you describing what you do in this poem, how you talk to others on the Instagram page? : )

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

Thank you! And yes, I am speaking of how I talk to these kids on instagram. I have struggled with hiding my faith for fear of losing their trust or making them uncomfortable, but I have been realizing that that is the most unkind thing I could do to “my kids” (as I call all of my followers). I’ve been blessed to share the gospel with a few kids, and the Lord is teaching me to be more bold about His promises.

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.

This was really motivating. I feel like you captured the spirit of both the victim and the comforter extremely well.

"Come, travel with me in dreams far, far beyond the range of the possible and the known." ~Charles Baudelaire