A Montgomeryesque Piece of Fiction

Submitted by Damaris Ann on Wed, 02/22/2017 - 23:49

Removed for contest entry

Author's age when written

So, I wrote the first paragraph three or four months back, and then forgot about it. I recently was going through the notes on my phone when I stumbled across it, and nearly trashed it. Whew! That was close. Anyways, I pulled it out this afternoon and decided to write a Montgomeryesque short story. Fun fact: I wrote my first little creation at the age of 12 after being inspired by reading all of L M Montgomery's stories that I could get my hands on. She wrote 6 full vollumes of short stories, and I've worn them out with many readings. I hope you enjoyed this. :)


-- Okay, I am Montgomery obsessed, as it might be known, so I gave an "eep!" when I saw this title, and curled right up with a thick blanket and spent a very happy few minutes reading it ^.^ Thank you for writing this. Sometimes all I want to ingest is something cozy, pure, and beautiful.
How you began was great -- literary and mysterious. Made me want to go on, to see why in the world she didn't like hothouse flowers.
I loved "little tads of things" -- I'm going to steal that and scamper off, like the Knave of Hearts with the tart.
I also just went into bliss, looking up and re-reading Shakespeare's 116th sonnet, inspired by your quote...
This is my absolute favorite sentence: "I feel sure that Heaven will waft the fragrance of morning glories in its breeze, for is not Christ the Glory of our eternal morning?" It's a jewel of a sentence and captures the sunrise quality (or I should say morning glory quality!) of eternity so poetically.
I felt her paralysis, and her softening.
Another favorite line: "I turned, and saw him standing there with a blanket of light spread around his dear head and shoulders."
And: "And then William said--but no, on second thought I shall not repeat his words. They are to be written only between his heart and mine." That gave me happy shivers.
It was such a simple story, but "unfathomable love" is the right summary of it, on all levels -- romantic and spiritual. Thank you again for this lovely sharing <3
And, whew, that WAS close ;)
...Also, I was just about to ask you if you've read her short stories. Guessing you had, since this was similar. But wow, six?? I thought I owned them all but I think I actually only have four... okay, time to go on the hunt.

This was sooooooooooo cute and very uplifting! I loved the narrative of this story! Okay, gotta go find some Montgomery...
So beautiful!

Introverts unite!
From the comfort of your own homes!

Beautiful!! I love the voice that this is written in...elegantly old-fashioned. I'm impressed with how you kept that voice consistent throughout the piece. Great work here.

"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad." ~ Anonymous

It's a joy to read your work. I think, at least stylistically, this may be your best work yet. It is filled with so many rich, gorgeous lines. The piece breathes beauty, and it overflows. Although I could point to so many instances of its loveliness, this was my favorite:

They are to be written only between his heart and mine.

I never read any LM Montgomery (can you believe it?!?), but I feel that this completely puts me in that frame of mind. It's jubilant; it makes me feel like spring. Honestly, the feeling is hard to describe, but just know this was a perfect way to start my day, and it brought about the best of moods!

I hope you're well! Let me just say, it's been a privilege to see your writing shift and shape over the past few years. (Has it been two, or three now?) I love that you're trying all these new things--they're paying off, and they're helping you to grow!

One tiny typo: one instance of let's should be lets:

and let's me drink gallons of her herbal tea every day

And in the last paragraph, months time should be month's time.

Those are the only technical things I noticed! Lovely job!

@Clare aww thanks, girly!!
@Sarah Elizabeth thank you so much. That means a lot.
@Sarah Bethany oh my gargoyles. I read your comment over several times last night, and several more times this morning. Had to show it to Mama. :) it meant the world to me. I'm SO GLAD that you enjoyed it. Haha, you feel free to dance off with that bit, you dear Knave of rainbow-colored-hearts. ❤️

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.

Well, I had so much more to say to Sarah Bethany and Madaline, but my internet connection blinked at the very wrong moment, and my mile-long comment was lost. :( let it suffice to say, dear girls, that your comments bolstered me up beyond explanation, and I am humbled. Love to you all!!

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.

Um...Damaris, you know this is enviously good ??
You captured the lushness of Montgomery literature--and I felt like I was in Prince Edward Island, and it was heartwarming. You had long sentence, then short, then long--beautiful rhythm and variety!

"Hothouse flowers. I hate them. I hate all of the memories that they bring. When I see them I smell rubbing alcohol"- great beginning.

"My sallow skin shall be the hue and texture of pink roses again, and I will dance."- I was nodding my head, thinking"You've GOT this!"

"This is surreal. I'm positively incandescent; even Tabby says I glow.
Tabby. Tabby is my Saint on earth." - the transition here - to Tabby. Tabby is my...--loved it.

Then to proceed with the what is love and the quote--was so nice!! because then you moved on to describe more of her love. I love how you made it like she was reading it right there and Tabby interrupted her.

I love the story you gave in 3/29, and how you used "death's door", but just that this was not smooth--I felt like it had changed tones:
Oh, God! How gracious You are to me! Through Tabby You have shown me what true love and Christianity are. Life is worth living for Christ alone, through Christ alone, for the glory of God alone.

Life is worth living even without William. - but this sentence was significant, and important to the moral of the story, and can be applied to all of our lives, with all of our Williams.

Okay. then 5/7 - his return was so so so well done. It was like I was watching a movie. I could highlight and paste the whole thing here. I think I will. To analyze it.

My hat was off, and I was carefully gathering the dewy, wild primroses when I heard footsteps approach from behind. I turned, and saw him standing there with a blanket of light spread around his dear head and shoulders. Oh, I scarce can contain my rapture! William is alive and well. Joy! Joy! My heart knows no bounds. --loved this part--"joy!joy!...blanket of light (I know what you are saying! some photographers capture that so beautifully) and "oh I scarce can contain my rapture!" - that is montgomeryesque.
I dropped my hat in speechlessness and stood, rooted to the ground. --strong use of rooted, and you showed rather than told her speechlessness with the use of "dropped my hat".--Oh, such shock I have never known. William whispered tenderly, lovingly.
"Do you know me, Edna?"
Yet still I could not move. My heart beat in my throat like a thousand drums, --love the "thousand drums" and love the following phrase:--yet my tongue would not loose itself from the roof of my mouth. I ached to speak, to scream, to dance, yet move I could not. --loved this sentence--
My sweet William stepped closer. I could see the wrinkles in his grave smile, and the dark circles about his eyes. Tears began to fall freely from my own, trickling down my face. He reached out and touched my cheek, so tenderly. Still I was frozen. It was not until he gently took me in his arms that I softened. the progression of this was paced well, and detailed perfectly
"William," I cried upon his shoulder. "You are alive!"
"Yes, Dear, I am alive. God brought me home to you. Dear, is it true, what Tabby says? Is it true that you are still free?"
I laughed. Oh, how jubilantly I laughed!
"Yes, William; I am free."
And then William said--but no, on second thought I shall not repeat his words. They are to be written only between his heart and mine. --a note: of course I loved this--but I distinctly remember Montgomery writing something like this, so while you are also imitating her, be careful you are distinct from her as well."--

I thoroughly enjoyed this. I figuratively wrapped myself in a blanket while reading this, as Sarah said.

Edited to add: PS - I think I read all her short stories too.

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Oh Megan, thank you. That means so much to me. I am absolutely humbled.
I really really wish I could sit down and answer your comment in full, but I have approximately 30 minutes to pack up all of my food items for a four day trip before I run out the door. :)
On that last bit about imitating while being distinctly different...I'll have to read her bits like that again and make sure I'm not being a copy-cat. :)
Again, thanks so much. I could cry.

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.

This is beautifully written, I love it! And I love L.M. Montgomery. I've only read the Anne of Green Gables series - not her short stories - but I can still see how this captures her style and spirit so much.