Two Short Poems

Submitted by Hannah W. on Sat, 07/02/2011 - 04:13

**Both short, though unrelated.**

{1} Untitled (and possibly unfinished?)

the girl up on the balcony—
it's so dark, she's a shadow, she's unseen
high up in the rafters
she can hear the coughing, she can hear the laughter
she can see the magic and she can see the actors.

she's like a stormcloud up there, waiting
look out, it just might start raining.


{2} "Nightmares"

When I was a child
I dreamed of wolves. I dreamed their teeth
and their fur
and their faces.
and their eyes glowing in the dark.

I dreamed of all creatures, all creatures with teeth
and claws, and talons
and snouths, and fangs
and sharp spines and scaled bodies;
mouths wide to swallow.

I dreamed the fears of my ancestors, I made them my own
the wolves spoke my name and my name alone.


Author's age when written


I'd love to see either of these as openings for stories. As you undoubtedly intended, they speak such interesting, chilling things to me.

Keep writing or I'll miss you!!

I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief

The first one was I loved it. It was like a dream you didn't want to leave.

I love the second one. Astounding.  

The wolves spoke my name and my name alone 

I agree with both Anna and Bernadette. Especially the last line of the second one- the wolves spoke my name and my name alone- gave me chills. I definitely agree with Anna on the fact that these should be tied in to some sort of story/novel. There seems to be more buried in there.

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

I know it's a little late to be commenting to this, but I really, really liked the first poem!!! Well done, and well written!

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
Write On!