Submitted by Madeline on Mon, 06/05/2017 - 04:33

there are
when I look at you and see
someone elevated
past the primal point of being
perfection personified and

you're not
done yet
this much I can see
that those
are not times
to grasp onto in a dream
to cling to and
drink to til you
wither into ink.

oh, wait
wait, wait
I gave up on

and some
when I see you
seeing who I'd want to be
if the cards
the stars
had shined
and chanced so
chance could let us see.

but mostly then
just mostly
I find that you're a need
a simpering sort of thing
is this
this want, a constant clawing
that if only
could not speak
that maybe then
those sometimes
would dispel a fantasy.

and then of course comes I
with my ever-wanting mind
searching for a
better best but
finally redeemed.

Author's age when written


I really like this! I love how, at the beginning, it almost seems as if you're talking about another person, and then it becomes evident that you're rather talking about yourself. "finally redeemed" is such a satisfying final line as well! Great work.

"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad." ~ Anonymous

And then Damaris gets on and goes "Wait, she's talking about herself???" Ahhhhhh this is so good, Madeline. I've actually read it maybe five times already, just drinking in the imagery and flow. This is definitely my favorite from you yet!! I can see this as being the most popular when you publish your book of poetry someday. Because, obviously; you have to. ❤

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.

Hello, girls! Thank you so very much! <3 You are all super duper lovely!

Kass--thank yooooooou always! xo

Sarah Liz--how lovely to receive a comment from you! thanks so much!

Damaris--I'm so pleased to hear from you. You are so kind and sweet and you give such uplifting feedback. Thank you! And awww, the encouragement there at the end. I feel the same about your work, just so you know! :)))