Prologue: Edaled, Year 50
In the beginning there was peace.
There was peace between husband and wife. There was peace between brother and sister. There was peace between all kingdoms of Edaled. But most of all, there was peace between Ad and His creation.
When Ad dwelt among His people, there was joy every time He was seen. Every time He spoke. Every time He was mentioned. To love and be with the One who created them was all anyone asked. Even the kings would leave their most important business when He came, so great was their love for Him.
But then came the dragon. He whispered into the hearts of every child of Man, beginning with Nathan, King of Sealyn. His whisperings unearthed the pride in every heart that caused every being to vie for the affection that belonged only to Ad – Ad the Creator, who lavished His love on each of the children of Man, whose qualities were so far beyond that of any created thing. The simple laws He had given to protect His people were ignored.
It seemed like a good life at first. But then some became hungry because the stronger were hoarding food. Husbands and wives began to fight. Children began to bicker. Tears were shed. Death entered.
Then in the dark of night, bright light filled Edaled. Even the smallest child fell to the ground, hiding his face.
“I trusted you to follow my laws,” a voice said. It was Ad. Many tried to speak, but found no words. There was no excuse for what they had done. “In your pride you think you know better than I. You are wrong – it is I who give you life. Yet I am giving you what you desire – life without me.”
“No! Please, there must be some way – you must stay – we need you!” Men cried. “You must reap what you sow. Your pride has brought this on Edaled.” “But Daron told me-” women shouted. “He lied!” said Ad. “Daron is wiser than the serpents, and tries to find ways around my laws through which he may cause you to stumble. He twists my words and makes them seem hateful and harsh. Be wary of him, for he is the prince of this world; you have chosen his rule over mine.” Suddenly, in the presence of the Ad, all of Man’s children realized foolishness of following after their own desires.
Nathan spoke, but all heard and echoed his words. “Is there any way to turn back what I have done? Any way to bring you back?”
The light vanished, but the voice was still heard. “I will provide a way. While men dwell in Edaled, life will never return to the way it once was, but I will provide a way of escape from Daron’s lies and the lies of your own heart, for now complete resistance will be futile. But although Daron will triumph for a time, I will be victorious.”
My first re-write of the prologue for Love Victorious, attempting to make it less tell but without making the backstory necessary a book in itself. One of the main things I am focusing on while editing is the strictness of the allegory - I'm leaving a lot more open-ended than before, making it a less-strict allegory.