My First Set of Poetry

Submitted by Lucy Anne on Wed, 11/11/2015 - 17:24
So I just finished a poetry unit for my writing classes. I absolutely am curious to see your thoughts! This was my first time ever studying poetry and though my poems are not perfect especially the Petrarch... sonnet which was so difficult for me to write. Have any of you written sonnets? or haikus? - Megan Water Faucet (freeverse)
Poor little me a silver tunnel rich with water Many children call me names of bore They whip my hand open morn, noon, night forcing me to sweat out steady streams never breathing for relief until they’re done. They block my current of hard work as they slice into my gift with knives that makes me screech, skidding off the metal boiling with rage as I spray their face and shirt foaming, spitting out the bitter suds from plates. I work like a slave gasping and puffing stretching out to the counter like elastic. If no one appreciates me, I wonder why I can’t join my friends in the ocean or the stream, oh, you silly modern technology!

Haikus I. Come crunchy snow and rescue our house slipping down an ocean of fog. II. Spring holds a hymn-sing beside the gurgling thin stream quenching thirst for peace. III. This summer heat dried up the creek so I kneel down waiting for the rain.
Slow Down (Petrarchan Sonnet) The world has tossed the fear of God aside Because we all have grabbed the wheel our way Too fast our car speeds down the short highway And now our ears deaf sure hear not who’s died Oh, rare is one who looks to Him to try This time and age to do the words He says For much of us would rather go and trade death’s curse for life instead in Him abide. Hear hear! just brake and pass to Him your wheel Or else that truck will come too soon to crush Look, exit there to serve Him with great zeal Oh don’t you please and tell my mouth to hush I don’t just fear for your automobile I tell you nothing but to brake and kneel.

Author's age when written


I love the Patrarchan sonnet. Beautiful. I've written a haiku but it's pitiful and was written as a silly joke for my mom. :) that's why I haven't posted it on here...

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.

Your haikus were wonderful, Megan!

"This summer heat dried
up the creek so I kneel down
waiting for the rain."


"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Thank you, girls! Such a surprise to get a comment from you Erin! Happy. Hope you're learning and enjoying college!
Edit: oh and I forgot to tell you, Erin, that while I was struggling to write this assignment of poetry, I kept thinking of how amazing yours are.

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Those haikus are magnificent. I love the word-painting you did there. Your use of adjectives in the first one was excellent. "Crunchy snow" "Ocean of fog". In the second, I loved the verbs. Those were fantastic. And in the third, although no surprising words were used in place of others, it was molded in such a lovely way. I'd say your first venture was successful!

Metered poems are so difficult to write as well! I haven't studied meter past the basics (like haikus, actually), so I'm unfamiliar with the meter you used in the last one, but it seemed very concise. And in the first, your descriptions were so lush and lovely--it was extremely vivid!

Great job, Lucy Anne! I always love your writing!


I like :)

I thought these were all fantastic. Water Faucet is written really well, I enjoyed the haikus SO much, and Slow Down was great.
Wonderfully written, all of them (especially for first set!)

I love the Sound of Music too :)

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Homey, and Maddi, you girls made me smile! Homey, you are too funny. Thank you SO much for commenting. I hope you're doing well with your studies and life.
And Maddi, at first I was wondering - wait, sound of music? what? I had forgot I wrote that. Haha.
Thank you both for your comments. I'm so glad you like them!
PS and oh, Slow Down has the iambic pentameter.

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson