There He Was

Submitted by Lucy Anne on Thu, 04/11/2013 - 22:25
Author's note: The first and last paragraphs outside the markings (-----) are taken in the present while the rest are flashbacks. :) There he was—standing at the doorway. I raised my head to meet his gaze. When I looked into his chocolate eyes, a picture I had seen before came into my mind. He looked so familiar. Argh, who was he? ------------ Bursting into the living room, I saw my mother and father sitting together. I ran towards them, waving an envelope. “I got it! I got it!” “Got what, Cheryl?” “A letter from Andrew! Remember I sent him, you know, the Settlers of Catan game? And here’s his response!” I ripped open the envelope and read—

Cheryl, Thank you for the birthday gift! I had wanted this very much.

Sincerely, Andrew Boyd

“Was that all?” My heart dropped to my toes. I searched the page for more, but there was nothing. Why he didn’t even seem surprised that I gave him something. This is so short and stiff… An inner voice cut into my thoughts. “Why’d you want more? Do they mean anything to you? You don’t even know him.” Mother’s voice broke into my thoughts. “Let me see it.” I handed it to her. She gave it to my father. Foreheads touching, they read it together. Mother burst into a smile. “That was nice of him. When’d you send him the gift?” “That’s what weird. I sent it a year ago.” She raised her eyebrows and turned to Father. His eyes still stared at the paper. “How you know him anyway?” I fumbled for words. “Well, uh, you see…” I cleared my throat. “I don’t really know him. I saw him in a picture and then there was an address and—“ “So you send someone something without knowing nothing. I thought I could trust you better, Cheryl.” I rubbed my face; a bit disarmed by his disapproval. “Father look, I’m not lying. I know I knew him before. It’s really weird I know, but I’m not lying.” That night I could not sleep. I was so exhausted, but Andrew’s note kept me awake. Oh God, bless Andrew. Help him to grow into a godly young gentleman. Give him humbleness, strength, wisdom in everything. And Katie, bless her too. Help her not to fear anything. Give her submission. Bless—Andrew…he…………..I sank deeper beneath my lavender fleece blanket. My eyes shut. ----------- “This Tuesday we’ll be having ladies’ class at the Shank’s home.” Brother Michael’s eyes searched for Sister Sara who sat in the audience. “You’ll know more details, right?” She smiled and nodded. He continued to read the announcements as he stood in the pulpit. For some reason, I happened to look behind me. There he is! I blinked hard. My jaw dropped to the ground. He leaned against the white brick wall, his hands deep in his pockets and his back straight against the wall. What’s he doing here? Does he recognize me? My mind whirled and my heart beat like drums. “In Jesus’ name, Amen. You’re dismissed for Sunday School.” I jumped up. A few heads turned and few giggles erupted. Oops. With flaming cheeks, I glanced around and was relieved that I hadn’t caused that many heads to turn like it had seemed. Then the whole room burst into a lively murmur as each person greeted one another. I looked back again. He was still there. I took one step to him, and then froze, suddenly shy. But I shook it off and with determination, walked over to him. Nine other people stood beside him. That has to be his family. He glanced curiously at me. I smacked my lips. My hands began shaking. I shoved them behind my back. “Are you—you Andrew Boyd?” “Yeah.” He started. “You are?” My face lit up. “But how’d you know?” “I’m Cheryl. You know me, right? Esther…Cheryl?” His forehead creased as if in deep thought. His eyes widened. “Cheryl! From…” I bobbed my head up and down, interrupting him. With his elbow, he nudged his brother. “Jim! Here’s Cheryl! I shook hands with both of them. Beside them was their little brother and I bent down to grasp his tiny hand. Two girls, who looked older than me, smiled at me and we embraced like old friends. “This is my father and mother.” Andrew stepped towards me, holding out his arm. “How’d you ever get here? You live so far. This is unbelievable,” I said, laughing. Andrew said, “I know, right? Well, you see, we didn’t—“ It became dark. They looked up in confusion. Then the lights opened again. I explained, “It’s just the signal that Sunday School’s about to start. You know, for people like us who keep talking,” I said, grinning. On a normal Sunday, each class—the men’s class, the ladies’ class, the children’s class, and the youth class’, were each held on a different floor. Yet this Sunday all the children, youth, and lady classes gathered in the basement. But in the first place, this wasn’t a normal Sunday. This different arrangement didn’t affect me because I attended the ladies’ class. I was the only girl, yes, but when I had turned twelve years old—the age my parents believed that I was an adult, my parents had removed me from the youth classes and placed me into the ladies’ class. I liked it that way. Around me, the ladies’ class formed the biggest circle of chairs, the youth (where Andrew and five other friends were) formed the second largest, which left the children to the smallest circle of chairs. My minds refused to listen to Mrs. Yoder teach the class. I stared at her, trying to listen, but that didn’t help. But Sunday School passed as fast as a hummingbird. Normally after the discussions ended, everyone would find someone to pray with. But today, for the first time ever, I had no one to pray with. Everyone had someone else to pray with. How strange—as if this isn’t a strange Sunday in general. Mrs. Yoder realized that I was alone and summoned Andrew and five others of my friends from their circle. “Why don’t you pray with Cheryl?” We gathered together and shared our prayer requests. Then something bizarre happened. No longer were we sitting together amidst a low murmur of prayer, we were on the other side of the room standing amidst a chatter of laughter. Neither of us questioned our misplacement. In fact, no longer were chairs strewn about the room, they were stacked against the wall. Boys ran towards and away from us, rolling hula-hoops on its edge. A large square machine stood in the middle of the room. As each boy passed it, a spark of electricity boomed. Peals of laughter exploded too. Please! This is dangerous. Stop! My mind screamed. Andrew stood beside me. “Let’s go. We still haven’t prayed yet.” I whispered to him and my other friends; I must escape this atmosphere. We gathered in a smaller room. I prayed first, “Oh God, bless Andrew. Help him to grow into a godly young gentleman. Give him humbleness, strength, wisdom in everything…” For a moment I halted for my words confused me because they seemed so familiar and not coming from me. But I continued, “And for Jacob, make him a wonderful witness for you as he travels. Make Sallie keep growing into a beautiful young lady. Thank you so much for what is to come. Amen. ------- Argh, who was he? He wasn’t at the doorway before—was he? Our eyes met. “Cheryl, remember the gift you gave me?” The gift. What g—the Settlers of Catan! Memories tumbled back so quick… I didn’t know what to say. “I—yes, I remember…Andrew Boyd.” He looked so familiar…like someone I saw in a picture before—many times. Someone I would enjoy meeting. “Well, I have something for you.” “For me?” “Yep.” He grinned as he walked over to the upright piano leaning against the left wall of the living room. For the first time, I noticed a backpack on his shoulders. He shrugged it off. Bending, he brought it to his knee and unzipped the backpack. I tiptoed to get a better look. He pulled out-- of all things he could pull out, the “Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer” DVD case. It was not a normal DVD case—it was too thick for just a DVD to be inside. He handed it to me. I tried opening it, but my finger struggled to slit open the casing. He was gazing steadily at me – which didn’t help. “Here,” he said. “Let me try.” I gave to him. He struggled too. “Aww, I really wanted to give you this but—“ “…No wait! Look, it’s opening!” I nearly shouted. He bent back to his work. Slowly; very slowly, it opened a crack. Gleaming forth was a blue light. I leaned forward. And then I woke up.

Notes: Okay, I did have this dream. This is not exactly, exactly my dream, but it is tweaked a bit for better reading. I did know who "Andrew" was, at once, for instance. And of course, I woke up at the worst possible time. Also, in my dream everything was in the present, I didn't dream IN A DREAM. But to make this read easier, I made it like this. Cheryl's prayer was really what I prayed when I fell asleep, but it's too confusing to put what is present and what is a dream, especially since I didn't want anyone to know it is a dream until it is all's really confusing. One more thing, I didn't have any one edit this yet, so please feel free to do it! :)

Author's age when written


Wow! This is REALLY Amazing. I just don't understand one thing, in the first half, was that a dream, or was that real? Just checking:)

P.S. I don't think it's "dumb", Miss Bubble.

"The trip is a difficult one. I will not be myself when I reach you."-When I Reach Me.

Hey - long time no see! Just kidding. So fun. I could blow bubbles all day. (That was probably the best exhibit.)

The very first paragraph till the ---------- was for real, if that is what you mean.

EDIT: If you were thinking about putting this in our newspaper...well, don't. For now I don't want it on there. But I might change my mind. This wouldn't fit in one page, would it, anyway?

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some of it was hard to read and understand, but when I realized it was a dream, it made more sense! :) Good job! :D

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths

Go to my blog and follow it:
:) for my sake, follow

I thought this was The Story all the way until the end - and I was so excited and blown away by the twisting shapes of reality throughout it... (I love it when an author can make you feel as if you don't know what's going on but they're still a good enough writer [which you are] that you're not confused...) Anyway, even when I realized it was a short piece, I still loved it and feel like you achieved something: it's a sliding, shape-shifting kaleidoscope! It was a thrilling ride, not knowing what was a dream and what was reality. It can be hard to narrate dreams, and to even give them meaning to someone outside your head, but you did both those things. There was suspense in it, too, and I loved feeling like I was looking for the young man, too. There was a certain girlhood yearning to this. I liked that (and him) a lot. And the board game part. Haha.

Two quick edits:
"So you send someone something without knowing nothing" - I don't know if you want to put "anything" instead of "nothing", or if you did this purposefully for dialect.
Also, when she takes the little brother's hands, the sentence cuts off at "and".
I didn't notice anything else. :)

Wow--this was so...seriously, the best word for it is cool! I got that in-a-dream feeling from it perfectly, the way the main character was always confused. Oh, and that ending! With the blue light! I loved it.

The "And then I woke up" was perfectly abrupt. I was like, "Awww! No! I wanted to know what it was!"

I loved this line!: I rubbed my face; a bit disarmed by his disapproval.

Really great job, Lucy!! You must post more fiction; you're great at it. :)

Also wanted to add: I think you handled the dream really gracefully. There were opportunities for it to get confusing but you wrote everything so visually and the transitions were smooth so that was never the case. Great job!

Sarah, thank you for your enthusiasm! THE story's process is just so lo-ong, and I wonder if I should just skip the outlining part. (You just made me so happy with saying THE story) But I want to have some foreshadowing, and it will always be easier with a plot in mind. Thank you so much for telling me what you thought about this!! You really made me smile ear to ear as I read this.

I said "nothing" on purpose to make it more realistic. And I couldn't fix the "and" part for some reason...the formatting was off. So what's after "and" comes in the next line.

Do you think that this is a romance story? Um, I was thinking...because someone said something that this was romance and...that is NOT where I wanted this to go. 'Cause this is NOT romance. I understand if people might think it is,'s not. But, however, I am so glad that you liked the girlhood yearning and him alot. But keep in mind that Cheryl did not say that she liked him; there was no thought whatsoever or anything.

Also, I hate to break this to you, but after I went to a Writers Conference down south last week, and I think that God revealed that maybe writing Ernesha's story is not what He wants me to concentrate on doing right now. There is this opportunity to write down someone's testimony right now, and why waste precious time on a book that God won't help me with.......but I'm not sure. But I had this slight feeling last week of this feeling. I think that I will probably just concentrate on the biography and leave Ernesha as second. Because I so want to write that story!!! Everything that I've come up with is just so close to me and.......I'm still not sure and I have to think about it and pray about it.

This is just so fragile on what I will do, and I have half a mind to just delete this whole paragraph and not say anything...but I just needed to tell you.

And um, if I do write it, you're going to be in the dedication because you're so inspiring and if it ever gets written, it's because I keep getting encouraged by you.

Homey!! Thank you so much! You make me smile too. Just the other day I was moping around (almost) because of how bad my writing is. Your encouragement is such a boost!

At first I was going to write a subplot to this whole thing and not even make it a dream and I had written the whole outline, but then I showed it to my friend and asked her which one was better - with subplot or without. And she said without. So I followed her advice. You see, I have just finished re-reading "To Kill a Mockingbird" and I borrowed the CliffNotes of it and I was just wowed by how they broke her story down into all the tremendous amount of foreshadowing and subplot. That made me wonder if actually all GOOD stories had a subplot to build up and strengthen and main plot. What do you think? And Sarah Bethany, how about you? Thank you SO much!! -- Megan

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

I kept on seeing all these comments in the "Comments" section for this story, and then I saw Homey's comment (Hey BFF!) and I was like, okay, gotta check it out now.
It took me two days to read... only because I wasn't in the mood in the first place, so I stopped. I just picked it back up again and it really is good! It felt like a dream! It definitely did... it's weird when you get names in dreams, and you know people... but not in reality. It's so weird, cause I had a weird dream like this too, like... a year or two ago. Except it was about a guy named Keith... LOL! He had a piece of glass stuck in the middle of his forehead, and then he gave me and my siblings a ride... it was weird! LOL!
Dreams can be the craziest things ever!
Loved this! Very well written. Almost felt like I was inside the dream itself.

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
Write On!