Ciel et Soleil

Submitted by Madeline on Wed, 03/01/2017 - 15:40

le ciel et le soleil
call my name
beckoning with fingers
and broken up
by white
la vie and the
know what to say
to me
blanketed by green
I walk
wet sidewalks
il pluie
and breathe
reminding myself
to embody
a simple state
of being
in every day
refreshing play
until it is

Author's age when written
:) And pronunciation (for rhythmic purposes):

ciel = see-elle (sky)

soleil = so-lay (sun)

vie = vee (life)

pluie = ploo-ee (rains--saying "it rains")

fini = fin-ee ("finished")


Can I just say I absolutely love that you brought in a foreign language (I'm guessing French - tells you how much I know lol) to this poem? And thanks for the pronunciation you gave us - the rhythm adds to the linguistic charm and makes it sound simply magical.

Thank you, lovely ladies!

Damaris -- Awww!! <3 Thankyouthankyouthankyou!

Hannah -- Yes, French! You've got it, haha! I'm currently taking a French class, and the language is hard--not my forte, mastering languages--but so lovely! The first line popped into my head and I just ran with it; I'm just in the early stages of learning the language, so this is pretty basic, but I'm so happy you liked it!

Ahhhhhh, I love this... I feel like I need to read it over and over again, just to experience its freshness: just like the freshness of a post-rainy day. I don't know how you do it, but you have such a LIGHT touch in your writing. That's really the only way I can describe it: such a light play, and in this piece, only the minimum of necessary words, which makes for an overall airy effect. I loved it. I feel some kind of uplifting calm at the end. And what a fun mix of two languages. I guessed the meanings, and only didn't know 'pluie', but was delighted by the sound of that word, and didn't need to know. I really didn't need to know the definition of them all for this to work (magically done) -- but you're right, once I knew the pronunciations, I could enjoy the cadence of the poem even more. Your rhythm just skips along -- again, I'm repeating myself, but airily and lightly! I loved it. <3

Aww, Sarah, thank you!! I think any lightness is just a direct reflection of the absolute unburdened shallowness of my mind! ...kidding. Ish. But yeah, I find it hard to really dig in my heels with certain things. Honestly, communicating that you felt all that from this poem is the best compliment you could have paid me. <3 It means SO much, so thank you. Also, you have such a way of writing even critiques do you do it?!