Submitted by Mikaela Grace on Mon, 09/22/2014 - 02:07

I looked impatiently around myself, and shifted in the cold plastic chair. I’d been sitting in it for the last hour and a half. I had wanted to go into the room, but they had insisted I stay seated on this chair and wait. For how much longer would I be in suspense for? They hadn’t said. They had only said they would inspect it. What if they didn’t like it? I breathed in and sighed heavily. My stress level was way over what it should be. It was strange because, at this moment I really disliked them, but I knew that if they accepted it, then I would really like them. But if they said no, then I would, for the rest of my life, be shoved down in society and no one would listen to me again, all because of them. Oh the way the world worked! But if they accepted it then all my life’s work would be payed off. Then, unexpectedly, a thought struck me. What if they used it? What if they didn’t give it back to me? What if they declared it useless but secretly knew it was the worlds best invention? And then… and then…. NO! Now my mind was wondering too far. I tried to switch my channel of thoughts to something that wouldn’t involve it or them. I realised, in the situation I was in, the objective was impossible. But wait, nothing was impossible! As I had learnt during my work. All my college friends had been disgusted at my “insane” ideas. My friends had thought that I was childish to think that it was actually possible. But I had proceeded, acknowledging the words of my great Grandfather, who had sparked the interest to make it. As a child I had it drilled into me each day that my family was poor, and we had been since anyone could remember. I was sick of it all, and I tried to think of how we could change that. It was one conversation that helped me conclude what I needed to do. The fact was that the world had problems, and those that solved them, would become famous. What I needed to know was what those exact problems were.

I was talking to my college friend one day, and he was an ex police man/slash detective. I asked him why he had quit. He said the problem with his job was that there was never enough evidence. That was when I knew I needed to build it. I worked hard, I studied science in university, I got brilliant grades, and now…. Now it lies in the hands of them, and so does my future, and my families future. Oh, I just realised, for the last few minutes, I’ve distracted my self from thinking about it and them! I knew nothing was impossible!
The door has opened, and there stands Professor Lardner.

“Kyle, please come into the room.” The professor said. I searched his face for a trace of the answer. I couldn’t find a hint of anything.

“Yes Sir.” I replied. I entered the room, suddenly my body tensed, and my legs stiffened, and I could no longer walk. Everything started to go fuzzy and lined, and then…. Black.

I awoke confused in a room on a bed. Where though? Oh, it all came back to me now. I had fainted. And they must have taken me to the hospital. The door to my room opened and in came my wife.

“Oh KYLE!” She cried, it was a happy both relieved cry, and yet there were tears on her beautiful face. She rushed to my side. “How do you feel?” She said.

How do I feel? I asked myself. I had better questions then that!

“What did they say!?!” I asked.

Her face brightened, and she laughed.

“Yes, they said, YES!” Cried Jade.

“Hallelujah!” I yelled, I didn’t care that I was in a hospital! They had said yes, and that was what mattered! “Hallelujah!” I yelled again.

My Mother then entered the room, and she came over to me.

“What is all this about?” She said. She had no idea of the situation.

“Kyle’s invention has been accepted by head security and the top professors in the country!” Blurted Jade excitedly.

“Hallelujah!” Cried my Mother.

I smiled. This was the moment of my life. My invention, a machine that allows you to look back into the past, and watch it play out like a movie by typing in the coordinates and date, had been accepted, and I was a millionaire!

Author's age when written


I like this! And I love your style of writing. You kept me in suspense all the way to the end! And I love how you make it all clear in the last paragraph.
Keep up the good works!
God bless you!

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.

Thank you! I really am encouraged by all your comments, thanks for all of them, and the tips too! I'm looking forward to reading more of your stories!
God Bless you too!

Do Justice//Love Mercy//Walk Humbly

Very good suspense....had me all the way through and I enjoyed the last paragraph when you revealed what the invention was...although I did have the sneaky suspicion it was a time machine all along!
One thing: In the first sentence, it's a bit awkward.
"I looked **impatiently** and shifted in the cold plastic chair."
Impatiently at what?? I think you should play around with it a bit.

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh